MY GOAL! FOR REAL!!!

Ok. Over and over and over again I have tried to lose weight...I even made goals for myself.  I hit some then I quit...I gave up...I made excuses and then I just ended up making myself upset.

I really want this! So bad! I am so tired of being miserable because of me! I have so many reasons to not give up. I am going to make sure my bookends don't fall over (please read fruits of the spirit post)!

So....I am not cutting my hair until I reach my goal. I have 37lbs to go and I KNOW I CAN DO THIS! I will also be training for a 5k in April. I walk this every year but this time I plan on running. I know with my family, my friends, my coworkers and My God this can and WILL happen!

Thank you God for helping me reach my goal! I am claiming it now!

GOD BLESS!

ANSWERED PRAYERS

Lately I have been struggling since the government took half my paycheck while they could not come to a decision, but I knew God was not going to let me go without. I have also been wanting to find ways to get my exercise in and have fun at it so I do believe God laid out my day.

I overslept this morning and rushed to get ready. I came in the kitchen and my sister had put some chicken in the crockpot before she went to bed so I would have lunch today. I was too tired to prepare my lunch last night because of my medicine. She also left a note for me as she often does telling me to have a blessed day and that she loves me. As I am smiling, while still rushing, I head out the door and rush to my car to remember that I am low on gas and if I did not get gas I would not make it to work tomorrow. I just said a prayer to get my gas tank filled before tomorrow and I trusted in God.

While driving to work I passed a sign right down the street from work for a new exercise place. I got to work and looked it up. They have exercise classes I enjoy! They have Zumba, boot camp, turbo kick and more! It cost $8 a class so I figured I would eventually try it out.

Mid day I asked a coworker if he wanted to purchase the last Scentsy warmer I have for his wife...HE AGREED! God provided me with gas money!!!! I thought about it and decided I was going to take the Turbo Kick class after work and I would put the rest of the cash from the sale I made in my gas tank.  I got to the class and they told me since this was my first time it was free!!!!

The class was great! I really enjoyed myself and I know God let me see that sign for a reason; I think this is what I need to get going again...a social atmosphere I enjoy. After class I stopped by the nearest gas station where gas was $2.97 a gallon. I went inside and told the cashier I wanted $15 on my pump then I changed my mind and told him to put the full $20. He asked if I was sure and I confirmed. When I got back to the pump the price of gas was now $2.92!!!!!

I have just been so happy today and I have not felt this in a long time. God knows our needs and He will always meet them ON TIME! He has been so good toe and I am so thankful for all the blessings He has and will provide for me! Once you put your trust in God everything will fall into place!

God bless!

P.S. There was candy in the office ALL day and I NEVER touched it! I didn't even want it! PRAISE THE LORD!

FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. I was talking with my co-worker today about the conclusion I have come to about my eating problem and how I want to fix it. He always has good advice and stories to share and he shared with me what he heard a preacher preach on a few years back; The fruits of the spirit. The fruits of the spirit begin with Love and end with Self-Control. He said to think of those 2 as book ends and those book ends start with love which holds joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness together. On the end you have self control; if you do not have self control all of those books will fall over because there is nothing to hold them up. This goes back to the beginning where love begins; if you don't have self control you will never be able to love yourself because those fruits have nothing to lean on. This opened my eyes so much. I live a Godly life and I want to have God in everything I do. When you don't have control over your life and you are unhappy that means the devil is happy. God gives us those fruits and He gives us the option to make our own decisions. He is always there to guide us but we have to follow His guidance in order to have those fruits. The devil is always trying to make the people of the world who follow God fall off path and he knows what will make us go off that path. For some people alcohol is the crutch, for others it may be fighting or drugs...for me, the devil knows I have a problem with food and he tries to use it in every way possible to bring me down. By living a Godly life I have to push the devil away and know that when I have a craving or "I just can't stop myself" that I can't give in because I would be giving in to the devil. God wants us to be happy. He wants us to hold all the fruits and keep them together, never letting the book ends fall off the shelf and from here on out that is what I plan to do. I will not give in to those temptations the devil pushes my way! He will not win. I WILL have victory and I WILL have it with God! God has blessed me with a wonderful job and wonderful co-workers. This Monday could not have started any better! God Bless!!!

The Disorderly Disorder

"This cycle will never end!"
"I think about food all the time!"
"I feel so disgusted with myself! "
"Why did I eat that?"
"I feel fat!"

Those are just some of the things that have crossed my mind during this weight loss journey the past few years.  Recently they have crossed my mind more than they should.  If you have read any part of this blog since I started trying to lose weight you will see that I have just gone back and forth.
At first I was really excited about losing weight! I just knew that this diet was going to get rid of all my excess weight! Then I knew that diet was going to be the one! Next came this miracle diet..and so on.
They say no one should "diet", they should just make it a "lifestyle" change. Well apparently when "they" spoke to me they were not very clear on the definition of "LIFESTYLE"!
The past few years I have became so consumed in losing weight that my life has become disordly. I had a talk with my sister last night about how food makes me feel and how, lately, I just want to hate it! I let her know everything!
When I am alone, sad, bored, upset, happy..any emotion really, I eat. I don't just eat when I am supposed to. I eat even when I am full and if I am not eating I am thinking about eating. When I eat I normally feel disgusted afterwards because that food just made me feel fatter and that scale will not make me smile in the morning! I know I am not morbidly obese, but I am not comfortable in my own skin and sometimes that image makes me feel obese. When we have a church dinner or a lunch at work I spend days trying to prepare my mind to not go back for seconds, to not eat too much dessert. I feel like people sometimes think I am gross when I eat. I am always wondering how fast I ate. These things haunt me so bad! I can't even enjoy food like I want to anymore.
After this discussion my sis she and I both realized this is more than a weight loss journey now; this is a problem. This disordly diet "lifestyle" has turned into a disorder. There are things I want in life and I know my life is not defined by the number on the scale but until I can find peace within myself and see the beautiful person that God sees I will never grab ahold of those things I want. I refuse to settle for anything less than I deserve and my happiness is at the top of that list!
I pondered the thought of posting this, putting it out there for the world to see, but I know there are people who will read this that really love me and those people will pray for me and help me change this disordly lifestyle into one that will no longer hold me back.

God bless!

I smile because I'm happy....

2 CORINTHIANS 12:9-10 BUT HE SAID TO ME, "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS."...FOR WHEN I AM WEAK, THEN I AM STRONG. Lately, life has been throwing some curve balls, but God keeps catching them for me so I don't get hit in the face! Since I have been in Kentucky I have let loose a bit on the eating. I had to catch myself and start asking the same questions I had to ask myself when I started this journey to a healthy lifestyle. I can't let "life" mess up "my life". I want to be as healthy as I can be to prevent big doctor bills! Recently I met someone who has really been helping me out with my health and I am so thankful! He is helping me realize the good from the bad, giving me substitutions, and encouraging me to keep going. I don't think this was the plan for our meeting, but I am ok with that. I am sure I am annoying people with my healthy facebook post and my comments about clogged arteries at work, but this actually helps me. Maybe I should just shut up...haha. I want to be clean on the inside and out. I want to make the right choices and, if I can, help others as well. I am anxious to learn and grow as my healthy lifestyle continues and one day...hopefully soon, I want to go back to school and learn about nutrition from beginning to end! Too many people get sick or die from things that could have been prevented early on in life. I know only God knows when we will leave this world, but God also gives us the knowledge to make the right choices (2 Corinthians 7:1 Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness our of reverence for God), not just by going to church and telling others you love them, but by treating your body right. We should not overindulge in anything (Proverbs 23: 20-21 Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags.) I started losing weight and telling myself I can do this and it can be successful because of God. In all the diets I had tried before I never included Him or asked for His help. God saw I was struggling and He proved to me He was there. Some may think, "Oh God doesn't care about weight loss!", but my God does because it was something that was hurting His child. Once I added God into the equation I began to see the beauty within myself. I began to take a spiritual journey that I never want to let go of. He has helped me overcome many emotions and He has kicked out those demons in my closet (because they were haunting me!). Before, I was not trying to lose weight for me. I was trying to lose weight to find a man to love me because no one likes a fat girl! Or, I thought all financial issues would magically disappear somehow if I was skinny...WHAT?!?! I was connecting everything in life to a world of skinny for some reason, but I wasn't connecting God. He is there at all times, in all situations if you let Him reside. With His guidance and with the strength He gives me I can't give up. When I step off He will remind me to go back to that place I was earlier in the year...that place that contained Him, that place where my happiness started to begin and then.....I say THANK YOU and I smile. :-)

PSALM 84:1-2 HOW LOVELY IS YOUR DWELLING PLACE, O LORD ALMIGHTY! MY SOUL YEARNS, EVEN FAINTS, FOR THE COURTS OF THE LORD; MY HEART AND MY FLESH CRY OUT FOR THE LIVING GOD.

THE 20LB GOAL HAIRCUT BEFORE AND AFTER

ON TO THE 3RD GOAL!

Well, I did it! I made it past my 2nd 10lb loss! I am so proud of myself and I was so happy to get that goal haircut! Not only has the weight loss made me feel better, but the haircut is also a confidence booster.

This week I have not been able to exercise like normal because of the busy work life, but I have still been doing good on my eating. I hope to get back in the gym soon. I have another hair appointment before I leave to work at Fort Knox for the summer and I am so excited to see what I will weigh by then...the appointment is on the 19th of May...I am 163 now, that is about a month and a half away...I am averging about 1-2lbs per week...I have about 7 weeks so I could lose up to 14lbs or more by then which would put me at 149lbs!! Oh my, I don't even know the last time I was at that weight! I am going to set the goal to 144 which is 19 more lbs to lose by then...I have some work to do, but 20 more lbs gone sounds so good!!! After that I will only have 14 more lbs to go before reaching my goal weight!!! I can't believe I started at 54 and the thought of having to lose 54lbs was not a good one, but with God by my side I am getting there...As of now my number is 33....these accomplishments make me feel so blessed and proud!!