MY GOAL! FOR REAL!!!

Ok. Over and over and over again I have tried to lose weight...I even made goals for myself.  I hit some then I quit...I gave up...I made excuses and then I just ended up making myself upset.

I really want this! So bad! I am so tired of being miserable because of me! I have so many reasons to not give up. I am going to make sure my bookends don't fall over (please read fruits of the spirit post)!

So....I am not cutting my hair until I reach my goal. I have 37lbs to go and I KNOW I CAN DO THIS! I will also be training for a 5k in April. I walk this every year but this time I plan on running. I know with my family, my friends, my coworkers and My God this can and WILL happen!

Thank you God for helping me reach my goal! I am claiming it now!

GOD BLESS!

ANSWERED PRAYERS

Lately I have been struggling since the government took half my paycheck while they could not come to a decision, but I knew God was not going to let me go without. I have also been wanting to find ways to get my exercise in and have fun at it so I do believe God laid out my day.

I overslept this morning and rushed to get ready. I came in the kitchen and my sister had put some chicken in the crockpot before she went to bed so I would have lunch today. I was too tired to prepare my lunch last night because of my medicine. She also left a note for me as she often does telling me to have a blessed day and that she loves me. As I am smiling, while still rushing, I head out the door and rush to my car to remember that I am low on gas and if I did not get gas I would not make it to work tomorrow. I just said a prayer to get my gas tank filled before tomorrow and I trusted in God.

While driving to work I passed a sign right down the street from work for a new exercise place. I got to work and looked it up. They have exercise classes I enjoy! They have Zumba, boot camp, turbo kick and more! It cost $8 a class so I figured I would eventually try it out.

Mid day I asked a coworker if he wanted to purchase the last Scentsy warmer I have for his wife...HE AGREED! God provided me with gas money!!!! I thought about it and decided I was going to take the Turbo Kick class after work and I would put the rest of the cash from the sale I made in my gas tank.  I got to the class and they told me since this was my first time it was free!!!!

The class was great! I really enjoyed myself and I know God let me see that sign for a reason; I think this is what I need to get going again...a social atmosphere I enjoy. After class I stopped by the nearest gas station where gas was $2.97 a gallon. I went inside and told the cashier I wanted $15 on my pump then I changed my mind and told him to put the full $20. He asked if I was sure and I confirmed. When I got back to the pump the price of gas was now $2.92!!!!!

I have just been so happy today and I have not felt this in a long time. God knows our needs and He will always meet them ON TIME! He has been so good toe and I am so thankful for all the blessings He has and will provide for me! Once you put your trust in God everything will fall into place!

God bless!

P.S. There was candy in the office ALL day and I NEVER touched it! I didn't even want it! PRAISE THE LORD!

FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. I was talking with my co-worker today about the conclusion I have come to about my eating problem and how I want to fix it. He always has good advice and stories to share and he shared with me what he heard a preacher preach on a few years back; The fruits of the spirit. The fruits of the spirit begin with Love and end with Self-Control. He said to think of those 2 as book ends and those book ends start with love which holds joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness together. On the end you have self control; if you do not have self control all of those books will fall over because there is nothing to hold them up. This goes back to the beginning where love begins; if you don't have self control you will never be able to love yourself because those fruits have nothing to lean on. This opened my eyes so much. I live a Godly life and I want to have God in everything I do. When you don't have control over your life and you are unhappy that means the devil is happy. God gives us those fruits and He gives us the option to make our own decisions. He is always there to guide us but we have to follow His guidance in order to have those fruits. The devil is always trying to make the people of the world who follow God fall off path and he knows what will make us go off that path. For some people alcohol is the crutch, for others it may be fighting or drugs...for me, the devil knows I have a problem with food and he tries to use it in every way possible to bring me down. By living a Godly life I have to push the devil away and know that when I have a craving or "I just can't stop myself" that I can't give in because I would be giving in to the devil. God wants us to be happy. He wants us to hold all the fruits and keep them together, never letting the book ends fall off the shelf and from here on out that is what I plan to do. I will not give in to those temptations the devil pushes my way! He will not win. I WILL have victory and I WILL have it with God! God has blessed me with a wonderful job and wonderful co-workers. This Monday could not have started any better! God Bless!!!

The Disorderly Disorder

"This cycle will never end!"
"I think about food all the time!"
"I feel so disgusted with myself! "
"Why did I eat that?"
"I feel fat!"

Those are just some of the things that have crossed my mind during this weight loss journey the past few years.  Recently they have crossed my mind more than they should.  If you have read any part of this blog since I started trying to lose weight you will see that I have just gone back and forth.
At first I was really excited about losing weight! I just knew that this diet was going to get rid of all my excess weight! Then I knew that diet was going to be the one! Next came this miracle diet..and so on.
They say no one should "diet", they should just make it a "lifestyle" change. Well apparently when "they" spoke to me they were not very clear on the definition of "LIFESTYLE"!
The past few years I have became so consumed in losing weight that my life has become disordly. I had a talk with my sister last night about how food makes me feel and how, lately, I just want to hate it! I let her know everything!
When I am alone, sad, bored, upset, happy..any emotion really, I eat. I don't just eat when I am supposed to. I eat even when I am full and if I am not eating I am thinking about eating. When I eat I normally feel disgusted afterwards because that food just made me feel fatter and that scale will not make me smile in the morning! I know I am not morbidly obese, but I am not comfortable in my own skin and sometimes that image makes me feel obese. When we have a church dinner or a lunch at work I spend days trying to prepare my mind to not go back for seconds, to not eat too much dessert. I feel like people sometimes think I am gross when I eat. I am always wondering how fast I ate. These things haunt me so bad! I can't even enjoy food like I want to anymore.
After this discussion my sis she and I both realized this is more than a weight loss journey now; this is a problem. This disordly diet "lifestyle" has turned into a disorder. There are things I want in life and I know my life is not defined by the number on the scale but until I can find peace within myself and see the beautiful person that God sees I will never grab ahold of those things I want. I refuse to settle for anything less than I deserve and my happiness is at the top of that list!
I pondered the thought of posting this, putting it out there for the world to see, but I know there are people who will read this that really love me and those people will pray for me and help me change this disordly lifestyle into one that will no longer hold me back.

God bless!