Sometimes things are not as easy as they seem. Trying to eat healthy when you are away from home, working out of a TINY kitchen, and when asked to plan potlucks and group outings at restaurants makes things a little difficult.
See, I LOVE food...I love the good food, the fried food, the sweet food...and lots of it, but I am trying. I have went through counting calories, to going to the Weigh Station and eating only meat and veggies, to eating whatever I wanted (which caused the gallbladder removal), to Weight Watchers, to South Beach, to eating whatever I wanted again, back to Weight Watchers, and now I am counting calories again...I am drained from dieting. I am exercising quite a bit, but the eating just gets to me...I want everything from pizza to ice cream with no veggies inbetween! I know that is awful.
I was telling my friend, Michelle, I need something...I need something to push me to that point that makes me say.."Ok..this is what is going to make me stay on track." I thought the gallbladder would have done that, but nope...then the asthma..but nope...I just love food and I need help. I am so scared I am going to get so big that I will be miserable. I want to be a role model, but with my habits of eating that is not happening until I change it.
There is something I want to do, but I know I have to get myself completely healthy and my body in shape before I can tackle it. I have been taking Zumba classes and recently I have thought, well, maybe I could be an instructor. The Rec Center back home needs some more fun added to it and maybe if I become certified I can help myself while helping others. I think this could be fun, but at the same time I am afraid I will get burnt out on it. And the class to get certified is not cheap so I just need to make sure, but in the meantime I need to get myself together.
In my head I want to try so hard and then I smell fried chicken or cheessecake and that little evil fat guy sitting on my shoulder pulls me to it. How can I knock that guy off? How can I stay focused? How can I stop fighting the food that will continue to make me fat and unhealthy that I love so much? How do people do it? How do they just say "No, I am NOT eating that cake even though my mouth is watering for it?"
Any suggestions? Help please? I want to be completely happy with me and by fighting this bulge around my belly I don't think I can be.
