It has been so long since we talked....

Oh, how it has been so long since I strayed away from the blog that was supposed to give me motivation in my, what seems like, life long journey to get FIT! I hid away for so long until I eventually forgot what I was even doing....or so I wished.

My life with weight loss has resembled a see-saw the past couple years. The dreaded scale just goes up and down, up and down, up and down and finally I just stopped giving in to that elementary playground amusement and said "FORGET IT!" I was so tired of having to live a life I didn't enjoy, which in my world is a life without REAL food!

Over the summer I was exercising more than normal, but I could not seem to even come close to being satisfied with myself, my body...and in the end, my confidence. I came home from Kentucky and stopped working out, stopped eating the way I should because seeing no results became discouraging. Finally I decided to see a doctor since I had gained 13 lbs in about 2-3 months and exercised like Jillian Michaels. All blood work normal...nothing in my life could cause this so what now? Give up? Again? I mean, I am back to the weight I started at a couple years ago...

For a while giving up was the take I had on my life...I had given up on love, given up on marriage, and even given up the dream I have had since a little girl--having children, so why not give up on food? God gave me another option--DON'T GIVE UP! How could I not listen to God? Living my life in gluttony is not what God wants and I have been doing that for quite a while with food.

I pray everyday for strenth and guidance to become a healthier person...it is not easy, but there are lots of things in life we have to fight for. Well, I am fighting again and this time I am fighting like I have never done before...this fight with food will be the Muhammad Ali/Joe Frazier fight...the second time around!

I AM GOING TO DO THIS! There is no doubt in my mind this time...if you stopped working at your job you would get fired, right? Why stop working at health...I'm not ready to expire! With patience and strength from God I will succeed...I know it is hard to have confidence in me right now, but WATCH OUT WORLD CAUSE I'M NOT GIVING UP THIS TIME!!!

God bless and say a prayer for me. :-)